You Know Your in Brighouse Theatre When.......

...your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.

...you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.

...you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.

...you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in
ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.

...you know where to find the best bargains at the British Heart Foundation.

...you start buying your work clothes on the market

...you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.

...you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with safety pins

....you've ever appeared in a show where technical rehearsal is devoted to finishing building the set.

...your children have ever begged you not to buy them any more Happy Meals.

...you've ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.

...you've ever got a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.

...the audience recognises you the minute you walk on stage because they saw
you before the show.

...you've ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.

...you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner
gown and high heels, and you're a bloke.

...you've ever played the mother of a man your father's age.

...your kids know your lines better than you do.

...your kids DELIVER your lines better than you do.

...you get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theatre because you forgot your kids.

...you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.

...you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was REALLY drunk.

...you've ever heard a producer say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.

...you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to (or if fact you only ever appear on stage with people you are related to).

...you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, "Just paint it black - no one will ever see it."

...you've ever appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.

...the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the
stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain.

...you've ever been told that the reason your producer has no eyebrows is
because he was in charge of special effects for the last show.

...you've ever said, "Don't worry - we'll just safety pin it."